This week Britney Spears almost kills her child, the world almost explodes, and other heartbreaking things that make you happy.

This week somebody kills Santa, Morgan Freeman stops racism, people search for Britney Spears on the internets and Kevin Federline drives a Ferrari. Not much going on.

Britney Spears is NOT a nice person and this video proves it. She should burn in hell, we say! Burn!

Britney’s Baby is out of the womb and already he’s complaining about daddy being a Gold Digger. Here’s parody of Kanye West’s ‘Gold Digger’.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

You’re Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck’s baby and it’s your job to get down the birth canal as soon as possible. Watch out, Britney’s fetus is gonna make your job very difficult!

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

LiquidGeneration created this piece during Britney Spears' pregnancy. Read her Fetus’ blog, watch the Fetus’ webcam, talk with the Fetus via Instant Messenger!

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

Shock jock Howard Stern is being hounded by the FCC for talking dirty. Watch him tell his story in this parody of Britney Spears’ hit song “Toxic.”

Britney and Beer go together like peas and carrots. But beer is more delicious.

The Suck My News Network's Philip Norris interviews our favorite popstar Britney Spears.

Does Britney Spears have implants? We report, you decide.