Visual effects in movies and television.

The road to professional sports is one of the most effective sociopath assembly lines in the world. Separated from their peers by talent as kids, pandered to as teenagers, and idolized as adults, today's college and professional athletes know that forgiveness is only one contrite press conference away. We keep track of their antisocial behavior and marvel at their sociopathleticism in the Sociopathlete Round-Up.

Sociopathlete: Brett Favre, Quarterback, Minnesota Vikings
Brett Favre has the distinction of making the sociopathlete round-up merely by playing his sport. His massive ego demands that he keep the spotlight on himself for as long as the media will indulge him. His head coach was just beheaded. His team is 3 and 7 after losing to division rival Green Bay by a score of 31 to 3. At home. He's owed a minimum of 17 million dollars for this effort. And in case you didn't hear, he texted a picture of his penis to a woman who isn't his wife. And it was flaccid.

Sociopathlete: Tony Parker, Guard, San Antonio Spurs
In the "shockingly sociopathletic" category, a Frenchman turned out to be a lecherous cad. Tony Parker didn't cheat on his wife with Erin Barry, wife of former teammate Brent Barry, according to Parker and his people. They were just sexting. Thanks, Tony. For a second we though you were a complete fucking asshole.

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Stop holding your breath, people! The Conan has Twittered for a second time! What do you think? Does it hold up to the hilarity of the first tweet? Is the 2nd Twitt a Tweet That Can't Be Beat!?!

We kind of think he Jumped The Shark a bit, but okay, whatevs. He's has over 300K Twitter followers, while Jay Leno only has around 30K (LOL!). Maybe he knows what he's doing. We're not here to judge (LIES!).

BUT ALSO!

Conan's Squirrel is also in Twitterville, so make sure to follow him, too. HE LOOKS DELICIOUS!

Now that most of America has eaten their lunch (we don't care about you, Hawaii!), we can show you these photos of Quentin Tarantino sucking some lady's feet. In case you didn't already know, Quentin loves feet, which we find pretty disgusting because we just have to look at our feet to be disgusted by feet in general. Our feet smell like vinegar. Not lying. We put plastic bags around our feet to contain the smell and so that vinegar feet lovers don't try to put our feet on salads.

These are the plastic bags we wear around our feet to contain the fumes.

This is a pair of vinegar feet. You might want to run to the bathroom and vomit up your lunch right now.

When we first saw this picture of Mad Men star Christina Hendricks on the cover of New York magazine two things immediatly came to our mind: 1) This is the perfect women and 2) We will never have a shot at her because she obviously marries ugly douchebags, of which we are not because we were born with the handsome gene (this is a total lie. Everyone who works at LG is pretty much the ugliest person on the planet and if one of us were to come face to face with Mrs. Booby Hendricks, she would surely vomit into our mouths.).

And this is who's banging/married to Christina. I know! He's some actor I guess, and not even a famous one! His name is Geoffrey Arend and he looks sickly, like he might die at any minute.

THIS IS A LIE! I LIE I TELL YOU! SOMEBODY PHOTOSHOPPED THIS THING! I HATE YOU! I HATE ALL OF YOU!!!!!!

I BET THE PEOPLE WHO MADE THIS JUST HATE TRANNYS AND THOSE WHO LOOK LIKE THEM! DAMN YOU, INTERNET!

WHATEVER,

Lady Gaga

3===)

(via cakeheadlovesevil)

Yes, we're not going to lie. We're going to go see Twilight just like everybody else is. However, we're buying up the 50 seats surrounding us because we don't want to sit next to the people in the videos below. It's not that we find them so annoying, we just don't want to share our tissues with them!  (Just kidding! (j/k again!) (j/k!) (no really, j/k!)

The Nutty Madam

The Chubster Spazzes

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