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Even the toilets are stronger.
You're going to end up at a lot of parties in the next 10 days. Some good, most horrendous. Here are a few tips for getting out of a couple bad holiday situations.
Problem: Bad Party with more old people at it than you expected. What I do: Guerilla warfare. There's a laundry list of things you can do to destroy a party from within. Number one is clog the main toilet. This can shorten a party by hours, and if it's a small apartment with only one bathroom, you could bring it to a screeching halt right then and there. The best way to do this is with paper towels. Toilet paper is made to break up in water; paper towels are made to keep their structure as well as possible. Smuggle paper towels into the bathroom. This might be tough to pull off; if people are around, do it one at a time, like how Andy Dufresne smuggled the pieces of his cell wall into the yard in Shawshank Redemption. When you have a bunch, flush 'em. Once the problem is known to the host, say something like "thanks for having us, looks like you've got your hands full, though!"
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This is why I don't have roommates.
The first thing you have to do at a party is find where they sell beer then find where the toilets are. Make sure not to drink enough and stay sober enough to differentiate between a sink and a urinal.
Assless Swimwear Fashion
Swimmer Ricky Berens accidentally split his uniform at the Fina World Championship in Rome. Or he just trying to use the swimming pool as a giant toilet. Who knows?
A Very Celebrity New Year E-Card
All you’re favorite celebrities are trying to keep their heads out of the toilet just long enough to wish you a Happy New Year in this awesome new e-card.
Sexy Indie Rockers
Indie Chicks and Dudes are hot because they know how to dress, know how to sing, and know how to barf into a toilet when they get too drunk.
Poop Dress
This woman married her husband in one of the famous Charmin public restrooms in New York and yes… that dress is made from toilet paper.
Abortion Flush
A woman gave birth in a train toilet in China and the baby got lodged in the pipe. She later said " I just thought I had to poop"… China…
Poop Pals
While taking a dump on your friends, it is always polite to bring reading material for both you and your toilet.
Toilet Paper Spears
Wow you guys, only in our wildest dreams could we afford such a nice dress and beautiful hair extensions. Having such a dress allows for quick toilet use, sans the hassle of cleanup.
Dog Attacks Toilet
Inexplicably, this dog wants whatever the thinks is at the bottom of this toilet bowl. And the toilet water pays the ultimate price.
Tyra Explains How To Pee
Apparently Tyra Banks thinks that grown women don't know how to urinate in public toilets, so she does a community service and shows up how!
EXCLUSIVE Britney Bathroom Photo!
A Liquid Generation EXCLUSIVE! A controversial photo of Britney doing her duty on the toilet!!
Cocaine on the Toilet
What could go wrong when you try to blow a line off a public toilet seat? PS, foreign commercials rule!